Human Nature?

First of all I will say I will try my very best to make this my last entry about Mr Jackson, okay a short time has passed now since Michael Jackson's This Is It, wait a second, I am just going to make a good old cup of english tea hahaha, I can't believe I just wrote that, thanks M!
Okay back, that's better,,,, yes I feel this entry needs a brew, okay so I watched it. I laughed, I cried and I was fucking amazed at what could have been. Yes I know this "movie" was probably put together in a very special way to make it the best it could be. You know what, I am glad. It showed Michael as he was practically in 95'. He looked, sounded and moved amazingly! Nothing said he could have been a very sick old man. Like a friend said to me very recently, this movie is a goldmine for fans. I agree 100% with him. Most people are not intrested in the whole rehersal part, but for a true fan of Michael they find that more entertaining.. in my eyes anyway.
Despite what people say about Michael's lifestyle and health, this "movie" proved one thing and one thing alone.... this man still had the magic he possesed all the years ago. He still performed with all his might and would not accept less than perfect. Wether he wanted to do this tour or not, he was going to make sure his fans saw something special and he put in his all. This was evident. I am sad and heartbroken I will never get to see him live, but I am happy for one thing, that's knowing that the tickets I purchased was for something that would not have let me down in the slightest like most people thought. 50 years of age or not, that man still had "it"!!!
Okay I am done.
Next subject, so I have been recently speaking with a musician/singer/songwriter, this guy amazes me, for his age, his intrest and knowledge of certain music gives me faith again. Finally someone under 30 who speaks about music with such passion and love. He knows what he likes, what he dislikes and is also willing to learn new things too..... I can ask "what do you like?" and his answer is not "anything"..... he has names of artists and bands and influences... it's great. Talking to him is not at all boring and I am glad we have become friends... yes this coming from the bubble girl who dislikes all people and preferes to sit in alone. haha. Now I like to think I met him through MJ becasue it's this entertainer/"impersonater" I have discussed before. I inqoute impersonator because I don't feel he impersonates anyone... it's his own voice. Yes I find it creepy and annoying but at the same time I find it amazing that I struggle to hear the difference between them... amazing. Can't wait to hear him sing/perform something other than Michael though, that will be cool. John Lennon's Imagine does not count. haha.
Next subject, I did not get to see the dinosaurs, that morning was rushed into hospital. And that's enough about that.
Been very creative again this week... I think I have a found a muse. Drawing, painting and more importantly writing, I am writing again, I have things to write about. It's a great feeling. I can't stop. This week it's just been pouring out. Thankyou.
I gave up one of the most important things I loved many years ago when I decided to grow up, get a proper job and so on..... my only regret. I have had a lot of time alone to think recently (in hospital) and things for me now are going to change, I should not have given up something I was good at. Not just something I was good at but something I enjoyed and was clearly born to be a part of.... I am going to get my finger out of my a** now and start being me again.
Why do people do that? Why do people change because they feel society needs them to be responsible in a certain way? Is it just human nature to try and fit in?
Well no more for me, for me I feel it's human nature to do what sets you apart from all the other sheep and do what makes you happy, not them. It's taken someone younger to make me realise that. Speaking about my past and the things I have done and I realised while doing this I was smiling and had not been happier discussing these things, I realised, I missed it, all of it. What a waste. I don't regret in anway the last 6 years but I do regret what I gave up because I thought I had to.
This Is It, Whatever Happens My Human Nature will make me Invincible and Unbreakable. This Time Around I won't be Threatened, I will Keep The Faith and no longer keep my talents In The Closet. Another Part Of Me will Remember The time of my HiStory and Smile. Is it Dangerous not to want anymore Privacy? Or is it Human Nature?
Toodlepip.