Is This It?

Things were going so well, I should have known a storm was brewing. Got myself a flight to Paris to see Depeche Mode on the 27th, I fly on the 26th... Could not be happier, and then............
One of my worst nightmares from being 8 years old happened, something I had feared. My idol, my insperation, my influence, has passed away. Of course its big news, it's like the day JFK was shot or when Elvis died, people always remember were they were when they found out this stuff... Well I will NEVER forget were I was and what my reaction was the night I found out Michael Joseph Jackson had died. Writing this now brings tears to my eyes as I I am not quite sure its sunk in. I know, I know, he was not family and I did not know him, BUT he had actually always been there throughout my life so far. Everyone knows who Michael is. He is a legend! On the 25th June 2009, Michael Joseph Jackson was pronounced dead at the UCLA Hospital unable to be resucitated from a cardiac arrest. He is really gone. This is not some cruel sick joke, it's fact, it's something a lot of people will not get over. The man was and is larger than life and in some irrational way people saw him is being immortal, invincible.
I was told and I broke down, I was so upset I even vomitted unable to calm down. I knew when it eventually would happen I would be heartbroken but I did not think I would be like this. The man obviously touched my life deeper than I ever thought. Its been almost a day and I am still unable to hold back the tears, I do not want to see the news and will not be going online. There are going to be rumours, cruel jokes and conspiracy theories.. all of which I am not intrested in... so its better to just try and stay away. A lot of people, friends and family have contacted me via facebook, text and phone calls, to see if I am ok, (it really is like I have lost a member of family, and they know how much I love him, so they are treating it like that).They know I am not ok.
I am currently sat in a cafe in Prague awaiting my flight to Paris to see Depeche Mode. I should be excited and thrilled, but can not yet bring myself to feel the need to celebrate. I suppose this gig could not have come at a better time. When I get to Paris to be with friends it may help me take my mind off it a little, because at the moment its hard to think of anything else as the news is EVERYWHERE!
I had my tickets to see him concert, I was finally going to see him, my hero! Instead it will always be remember as the tour that never was! Part of me says he is in a so much better place now, no longer can he be hurt or rediculed. That was something he never deserved. I have stood by him and been a fanatic for so many years, we haven't lost him, he is Michael Jackson and is ALWAYS going to be around. The man was and is a legend in his own right and will NEVER be forgotten. Never!
With all the love in my heart I say good night my Michael, sleep well! I love you!
I truly am heartbroken and hope soon I can think of him without tears in my eyes. This happened too soon. Too fast. It does not matter how he went, I dont need the details, the fact is he went isn't it?, Is that not what matters?
I am getting extremley upset now, and I have not slept since I found out, I am exhausted and look like shit. I am going to go for a smoke now. So for all those of you that feel the need to come out with your tacky sleezy jokes,,,,,, please don't! There is no need and nobody wants to hear them, He was and is a great man, great father and absolutley fantabulous entertainer. Thats how he needs to be remembered! And by me, he will.