Misplaced Serenity

A little bit of nothingness.

2010-08-09T16:35:00.000-07:00

A new adventure, a new challenge, a new little piece of fun. My adventure will be dedicated to the following, Jeffrey A. Conner for his unconditional love and support in my every endevour. Marcus J. Williams for his complete insperation and faith.
I am going to put my all into my new project, this is something I really want, and with some words I have easily been lead to believe I will be good at it. If anyone can do it, I can!
These people have give me so much in the way of faith in myself. How on God's green earth do you thank someone for something like that? How about by doing my best not to fail. Hahaha.

So I went seeing MJ perform again a little while ago and of course was not disspointed. Absolutely fantastic that for a moment while listening, I close my eyes and I get to see/hear Michael live as this was something I never got to experience. I will never tire of this.
I did see something brilliantly unexpected though, during one song, he brought up his girlfriend on stage and in my personal opinion she lit up the stage, such a natural beauty. She looked brilliant, like she belonged there, there was no pretence in her eyes, no showing off. Just so natural, and for me this made her sparkle. Bringing partners up on stage is something I find very cliche and a little bit irratating, but this time, for that song, and the nature of it, made me enjoy every moment.

So my dear laptop is slowly dying and I am positive the only thing keeping it alive is my love and devotion to it ahahaha, so because of my new project HK purchased me a new teeny tiny laptop to write on wherever, whenever. It's perfect! Its so cute! Haha.

Okay complete subject change here..... I have watched a few movies and there is one I really need to comment on, thanks to ma' Kev, I watched Grown Up's starring Adam Sandler plus many many more. I was not one bit disspointed. It was such a brilliant fun film that was perfectly cast and not at all over acted. It was written with such brilliant passion. For people over 30 it made you think back on the much loved days of playing outside with friends. No computer games and cellphones taking over your childhood. It allowed you to remember when children were children. You laughed remembering the stupid dangerous games you made up with your friends. It helped you remember what real fun was without costing you a small mortgage. When families spoke to each other without the aid of a social networking site online.
I reccomend this movie to anyone who despises the way family life has become for 90% of society. It's funny and laughable in so many ways but has that simple underlining message.
Also for me, it's Sandler back at his best.

I am still boycotting the Karate Kid movie. Yes yes, I have heard it's a good film, but that's not the point, for me it's a movie that should never been remade, who are we kidding here, especially to launch the career of a celebrity couples offspring. In my opinion when your asking someone if they have seen such a classic cheesy film their answer should not be "Which one, the old one or the remake?"

I helped my friend take his two lovely awesome funny dogs for a walk a few days ago and oh my God, it made me realise how much I really do want a doggie of my own more than ever now. Hahaha.

HK has been so brilliant recently, we have been having some good laughs together, it's been a good month I think. He is snoring very loudly now though so I take all the nice things I have ever said about him back. I can bearly hear Bruce Willis trying to save the day!!
Well I am gonna turn my movie off now and try and get some sleep. maybe I will talk some more nonsense later! Its all for L.O.V.E after all.
Toodlepip

A Guardian Muse?

2010-06-27T17:47:00.000-07:00

He told me that when certains times come when I think I am falling, instead, paint, dance, draw and write. He was right.

I have a good friend who even though we do not know each other that well, we do know each other quite personally on some degree/level. When we talk it's very very rarely "How's the weather?" type chats. They are usually most always meaningful and about things that matter.

He was right, he was honest, not knowing my own future he could have possibly just saved me. He'll never know, it will always always be hard for him to believe, on msn , it's just words. I understand that. Either way, without being all dramatic, he managed something no one else could. Never before have I met someone who goes into a friendship without an agenda. For him there is no agenda, he is just simply a nice person who wants to be treated with honesty and respect and in return he gives it back. What more can a person ask for? His passion for life, his honesty with people, his innocent and pure intentions has give me faith in not just humanity but myself. If ever in life he needed anything from a friend who also needed nothing in return I would easily be there. I will never ever know how to thank him. I wish I knew how though.

Anyway, serious bit over, just a quick catch up now before I go to bed and be able to sleep haha.
Okay lets see, since we last spoke what has happened? Hmmmm, ah yes
Jean Claude Anderson and Jack Napier's house burned down in a fire, Jack Napier and Lois Lane found their own place and are now living happily ever after.
MJ somehow had managed to convince me not only I am a Twilight fan (ssshhhh) but I also want and need a doggie in my life, which I am getting shortly.
Ma'Kev came through with a muuch needed package for me for which I will be forever indebted.
Ooh ooh oooh, something happened that I thought never would in my lifetime, I got to see a Charlie Chaplin movie on the big screen, the film club in Drammen showed it, it was brilliant, sat there with 9 other people watching this outstanding extraordinary black and white film with every emotion capable. Fantastic.

Of course I have to give a quick mention without boring whoever is reading this, a year has passed, it's now been 12 month and 3 days since we lost him. Michael Joseph Jackson, our Peter Pan, our gift from a higher being. How fast it has gone and the heavy ache is still as strong,
Forever he will be miss and never will be forgotten. Goodnight Little Prince.

Well enough for now as thoughts can sometimes be too heavy to be aired online for the world to read especially when can not be understood by the author.
Goodnight and toodlepip.

What Am I Talking About?

2010-04-18T15:26:00.000-07:00

So what's new?, Nadda, zip, zilch, zero! I today have done nothing, early hours of the morning I did the laundry, cleaned the kicthed and did the floors. I eventually did get some sleep, broken sleep but sleep! Woke up around 3pm which sounds scandalous but I didn't go to bed till 9.30am so it's not that terrible. When I woke (which took a total of around 3 hours haha) I spent most of my time on my laptop watching tv shows. Which brings me to my first topic of the day, Yes my good people Doctor Who is back!! We are on the 3rd week and despite the fact we had another regeneration and now have a new Doctor, it's still a great fucking show! Matt Smith took over after the departure of our sadly missed David Tennant and he has filled the shoes brillianlty in my opinion, although he has a brand new quirky character he still has the basic elements of our much loved timelord, Keep up the excellent work Matt and you won't go wrong.
The Forgotten I am now begining to miss, I really do hope we get a second season soon, Slater really fits the role perfectly as do the others too, the stories are fantastically written and it's just a great watch! Of course SVU season is almost over which is a little, aaawwwww but Criminal Intent has just started and it's great because Jeff Goldlum is still in it which means I will carry on watching it.

Apart from that my life is still as boring as ever, BUT if all goes well I will have my baby by my birthday, yes HK has agreed to let me have a chihuahua, a teeny tiny doggie people... all for me!! hahaha. I can't wait!

I am smoking a lot lately, I go through these stages,,,, BUT I don't care, it's my only crutch since I stopped drinking lol. And I did, I stopped drinking, it's great, although I ma now addicted to milk which is not good because my weight has ballooned hahaha. Ah well, can't have it all I suppose... jeez imagine how fat I would be if I didn't smoke! LMAO!
Maybe when I get my little teeny tiny doggie and go for a walk everyday the weight will slowly slide off me, ooh that's a nice thought!
Now my dear followers, yes all non of you, I have a confession to make,,, I turned into a girly girl and have recently been hooked to Sex And The City (it's okay though, it's over and is no longer fashionable).... so yeah I have been watching it.... it's not that bad and does make me laugh in certain points, there are some great quotes and points put across. Truth be told though it does make me feel all wrong inside for watching it, I guess this is what they call a guilty pleasure, so I will cleanse myself later and watch Star Trek, or Quantum Leap or even better some Law And Order SVU! OH my dear Lord, Eliot Stabler is leaving SVU, how not cool is that!!??!!.

My cat Gandalf the Grey is turning into a psychopath, as I walked out of the bathroom earlier, he wrapped his 'arms' around my leg and bit me on my thigh,,,,, why? He then continued to run around the room for no reason for about 20 minutes. He is now lie on his back, spread eagled, snoring.. I ask you, what kind of feline is this? haha.

I think I swallowed a spider the other day.

So my very good friend who is super cool MJ, as you know copied the dvd of Michael Jackson's This Is It onto tape cassette for me. Why people ask me? Haven't you got it on cd? they say..... NO!!! The cd is just the collection of songs used in the 'movie' MJ has put the dvd, talking incliding onto cassette for me.... to me this is what should ahve been done anyway, it was wrong to advertise the cd has the movie soundtrack when it wasn't, the versions of the songs used in the 'movie' were not what was on cd.... it was just a Best of ... in my opinion, so what MJ did for me is miles better and I have been listening to it a lot since HK bough me my new double cassette player. Yayyyy!

I am bored now, which means if there is someone reading this you too must be close to hanging yourself from the rafters now, not only do I not stick to one topic, not only do I drone on about nonsense, but I do this forever, for which I apologise. And I also apologise in advance for the fact I will probably be back in a few hours hahahaha.... only the gods know what I will be discussing then haha.
Live long and prosper people,
Toodlepip.

An Insomniac Asleep.

2010-04-17T20:49:00.000-07:00

I can't sleep.... I am tired. It's been 3 days and I am now walking round and looking like a fkin Zombie. Question, why does a person who is physically and mentally exhausted still have a brain that won't shut down? I am completley and utterly tired yet the moment I lay down my brain goes into overdrive and I start to think the most trivial stupid thoughts, "Do I even like that show?".."I need to clean the oven".."I wonder what ma'Kev is doing"..."I wish HK could snore in rythym"...
A couple of days ago I bought this really weird plant,,, seriously it looks like it's from another planet and boy does it make me giggle, not laugh but giggle...for NO reason whatsoever!! So I was lay in bed trying to sleep and for some reason started thinking about this plant.... could I sleep, no I ended up sat in the living room reading.
I met this friend through a Morten Abel webpage, she is in America, she is really sweet and the best thing is because of the time difference and my NON sleeping habits I get to be awake when she is. We talk about random things and important things, her husband, my fella. She is pretty awesome and yet has never questioned the fact I am awake at 5-6-7-8am. That got me thinking most american's I know I have met over the interweb and they also never questioned that I was awake. Yet when they are awake at their silly times the english are always sure to ask why.. Is this because we are a nosey nation or because we assume they have sleeping problems like us?

I have also taking to cleaning the apartment at the most bizzare times... when I say clean, I don't mean the typical housework, laundry and dishes... I am talking, emptying the cupboards, the fridge, reorganising the wardrobes, cleaning the floors.... all this between the hours of 4am to 7am--- what the fk? Who does this?
I am so tired, and then it gets to 8am or 9am and I think "oooh maybe I should lie down for an hour" but I know for a fact it wouldnt be for an hour, you see when I do sleep it's for an hour, then I wake, fall asleep again then wake again an hour later.... this goes on. So not only do I not sleep, when I do sleep it's broken sleep which makes me feel even worse. I know what I am saying now is making no sense at all but you have to take into consideration the it's currently the 4th day of non sleep/broken sleep and it's 7.28am. HK is snoring, I am yawning, the cat is sleeping and I can't rbing myself to go to bed. Why is that when I know I am tired?
I have even taken to doing silly things when I am wake because I am bored. 2 nights ago, I cut my hair, extremely short. I ahve been wanting to grow out my hair for a while but because I was sleep deprived I thought this would be a great idea, I don't regret it, it looks fabulous (of course it does, I did it hehe) but I don't know why I did it. It's very pixie like, very short lol. Not that you care, I am just now in that zone that its silly o'clock and I again am tired but don't want to go to bed. It's like I have a fear of missing something. Like I know I have so much to do tomorrow even though I don't. I act and behave like I have this unbelievable fully schelduled life when the truth is all I do is write, clean, draw, write and clean some more. Why do I fool myself into to believing such crap when I know I have to go to bed?

I know I ma not alone here though, I have a good friend MJ who is the same as I when it comes to his sleeping habits. He can go a week perfectly routined and then all it takes is one night to throw him off and he will be up all night talking to me on msn, and I do not exagerate when I say all night, we can talk untill 8-9am, and there was one time where we spoke from 3am till 11am, we then decided, to push it, stay awake all day and try and get back on track like a noraml person,,,, it takes ages for us to do this because we end up napping during the day then we are awake all night again. Luckily in time we manage to get it back to normal though. I think his girlfriend is a trooper just like HK for putting up with our habbits. She deserves a medal. haha.

Lucky for him though at the moment he is on Normal Time, whereas I am writing a blog at this time lmao. How the hell do I get into this sleeping mess?
Well today I will be gutting out my bedroom and stripping it top to bottom giving it a right good clean, if all goes well I will stay awake through the day, tire myself out doing that and then sleep tonight. If not, I will take one of my Rohypnol's (prescribed people, prescribed) and knock myself out.
Anyway, gonna make myself a good old fashioned english cup of tea now..... I will maybe chat again later. Feeling all chatty lately and like to share my pointless ramblings.
Untill next time, me and my A.D.D say........
Toodlepip

People Watching........

2010-01-30T04:39:00.001-08:00

Okay, so sat here at Lois Lane's work, watching people, sat at the counter near the window watching all the people, different kinds of people outside.

It started with me saying I would keep her company from 9am till 8.30pm while she worked alone. Of course I brought my trusty laptop.

So many different kinds of people doing a lot of the same thing in different kinds of ways.

It's snowing quite heavily now and watching people's reactions is quite entertaining on so many levels. Young "tough" men acting like the cold does not bother them because they are tough, hard and mean... when you can clearly see them shiver in agony when they think their friends are not looking. Young girls going to college dressed like they are going to a summer beach party complaining they are slipping in their heeled shoes. Teenage boys walking all cool and Californian "dude like", thinking they look like proffessional snowboarders. So many people thinking they are different and stand out from the crowd, when to watch them like I do right now you can clearly see clone after clone. This is better than your typical reality TV because these people have no clue they are being watched. One man recently walked by clearly having an heated discussion on the cell phone, not knowing he was being observed he was so comfortable in making these rediculous faces to show his anger even though the other person on the phone could not see him. He was pointing at the phone, it was quite amusing, but not as amusing as when he saw me and started to act completley different. People do change their personas when they are being "judged" or so they think by others.

I have been watching a young girl in her early twenties sitting at the bus stop now for almost 20 minutes, she has cried twice and had a conversation on the cell phone, and now she is texting and laughing out loud. I wonder, if she knew I could see her would she be laughing out loud?, Hmmm I wonder.

I also have a theory about people and cell phones, I believe that people only use them for one: They are bored, and two: it stops strangers from conversing with them. Ninety percent of the people I have observed today in the past six hours have ALL been talking on the cell phone when stood near someone else, and when that someone else walks away or gets on the bus the phone magically gets put back into the pocket. I wonder, are they really on the phone or are they just terrifed that a stranger may ask a simple question such as "Do you have the time?"

Have people become so hooked on chatrooms online they fear actually having a conversation face to face?

The snow is really coming down now.

There is an old man across from me, sat also at the bus stop, coughing (badly may I add) and smoking, this is his fourth smoke in nearly ten minutes. The lady beside him has only just arrived there yet had managed to check her watch many many times. All these people stood at the bus stop and all of them attempting to look busy and not making eye to eye contact for even a second. Why?

Hahahaha, I am sat here on my sixth hour of watching folk, listening to The September When (which is perfect music to go with this outside "movie".

How many more people are gonna fall?

Everybody is gone, the bus stop is empty, no cars,,, everything quiet. It's amost the end of school. Lots more people are due to arrive on scene soon.

Okay thats the third person to have bought ice cream today! What the feck?? haha. I must be missing something here.... they freeze outside, come in here an order ICE CREAM! Where is the logic?

The scenery out here looks amazing though, I am in the middle of nowhere and most of the snow is untouched. Looks like it's been mixed with glitter. Like something from a fantasy film. Amazing! It really does look beautiful.

The smell of burgers is really making me feel nausiated now. I have come to the conclusion that Lois is a legend, I could never ever work in a fast food place. The smell is just getting to be too much now. I know I will not for a very long time want, a Burger King, McDonalds or take away. My hair smells of grease. Eewww! Hahaha.

The snow has stopped.

Another five and a half hours and I get to go home, relax on the sofa and be warm and happy with HK. First of course I will do the housework haha.

Yes I feel tonight is a sit on the sofa and read my book kinda night listening to some excellent relaxing music, meaning Morten Abel or Michael Jackson, maybe both depending on how the book goes hee hee!

WOW!!!! A bus almost just crashed... that was surreal. All is good though, those roads must be slippy for that to have happened. I know I am currently just commented the non-happenings of my day and it's not very intresting, but I find people very very intresting and that is why I have done nothign all day than sit at a window and people watch! Gonna go for a short while now, get a hot chocolate or something.

I apoligise for all my recent typo's, I am a very tired individual! :-)

Toodlepip!

Is It The Twilight Of My Life?

2010-01-30T04:36:00.000-08:00

Okay so of course I am a person who believes one can not have an opinion on somethings without experiencing it first. So even though as a fan of movies such as The Lost Boys, Interview With A Vampire, and Queen Of The Damned I reluctantly watched Twilight to see what all the fuss was about. It was hard not to go in with an open mind due to all the reviews I had heard. "Shimmering shiny vampires?"... Still I went ahead and watched it. Only one person told me that he thought I would enjoy it and that was MJ, the rest tol me to stay away which made me more curious.

Although I have not jumped on the Twilight bandwagon I did enjoy it as a movie in it's own right, not a vampire movie. I thought the casting was all wrong and the story was pretty predictable and flat. Yet I did take into account that it was mainly an introduction tot he characters because the second movie looks to have much more of a story and I am looking forward to seeing it. Very much, sshhhhhh, don't tell my friends hahaha.

Next... I am now on episode 12 of The Forgotten starring Christian Slater and I have given it enough epsiodes to form an opinion. Although most would not be suprised if I said I enjoyed it, and I agree, I did only start to watch it because of Mr Slater.... BUT, It actually is a really good show. Although most would think I am biased and I would also usually think the same but trust me and believe me when I say this show is really good. To me it seems like it can only go from strength to strength. It's very well cast and the stories and easy to follow yet have twists and turns. Its a nice turn on the usual CSI type cop shows out there and it is something different and completley enjoyable and far from predictable and boring. The characters are written so well that they can evolve and you know it won't get silly. I do hope another season is given the go ahead because this show really is very very good!

This brings me onto, Cougar Town and Modern Family and Community.... utter brilliance, and that is all I will say on the matter, thankyou to my Kev to brings these shows into my life sooner than what Norway would have done. Hahaha.

Talk to you again soon peeps, just wanted to share those little non-thoughts with you!

Toodlepip.

MJ or MJ?

2010-01-19T07:09:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I was listening to Michael Jackson (suprise suprise) last night and The Lady In My Life came on,.. I started singing along, like ya do and................ I was singing the wrong lyrics.. I thought to myself "eh? What the...." Then it hit me. I was not singing Michael's lyrics, I was singing a friend of mine's.
So I played my friends, then again Michael's and came to the conclusion I actually prefered my friends!!! I prefered the way he sang it. Period! You see I can now hear the difference in their voices bar a few songs like Human Nature, Gone To Soon and so on. Ah well, it's refreshing to know I can still be suprised haha! Thanks for that MJ!
Also I ahve a slight dilema.. (okay it's not a dilema and not really a big deal to most folks) ... I was suppose to see Michael Jackson perform live at the O2 Arena late February and for obvious reasons will not be doing. Also I have been wanting nothign more than to see my friend perform live also. I now have the chance and can not wait!!! The dates I were given were the 17th and 18th... cool I thought, oops I am to go and see Kristian Valen (Yayyyyy!) on the 18th, so I must go and see my friend on the 17th....not a problem I thought....
At least I think all these dates are right hahaha... Then I realised I will be watching my friend on the same date I was to watch Michael. So that will be tough.
Can't wait to finally see my friend live though, So as fate puts it I will be seeing at least one MJ that day.... the creepy thing is they sound the same hahaha.
So just who will I be listening to MJ or MJ?'
We'll see.
Toodlepip.

Alt og ingenting!

2010-01-07T20:17:00.000-08:00

Worst thing of 2009 - Michael Jackson died.
Most memorable and best thing of 2009 - I met Morten Abel.
Christmas was fun as was New Years Eve. Aaaaw Lois Lane did the sweetest thing, the norwegians celebrate Christmas on the 24th and do nothing on the 25th which kinda sucks for me because I am english and thats "our" Christmas day. So I turn up at her house on the 25th and she had set out a pile of presents all wrapped up with gift tags from all my favourite celebrities..ie: Morten Abel, Jeff Goldblum, Hugh Grant and many more, plud Patch the elf (she remembered a childhood story I told her). It's things like this (the thought into every gift) is why I would do anything for her and why I trust her more than any "friend" I have ever had. Anyway, I just wanted to share that with ya'll!
There is no need to re-hash last year now. Let's move, new year new start as "they" all say.
So it's now 2010 and fkin freezing! "Of course it is, you're in Norway" I hear you say... well it's the same everywhere apparently so being in Norway is not the reason. Hahaha. It's just really fkin cold. Okay enough about that because to be honest with you I am sick of hearing about it. Almost 90% of my friends on Facebook have made their status updates about the fkin weather.... seriously, when did everyone turn 80! I remember when only old people discussed the weather haha!
Going watching Kristian Valen in 5 weeks and can not wait. Speaking of Valen, I finally got Living the Dream, a B rated movie that no one has heard of. Of course out of pure principle I was gonna say it was good even though in my heart of heart I thought it might have been terrible. Suprisingly I was very wrong. It actually really was fkin good. Kristian was fantabulous in it.... very funny and a very sad film. Loved it and it was deffinately worth the wait!
I have been very movie-ish recently and have been watching a lot of my old movies.. (nothing new their I hear you mumble)... mainly my Corey movies, Dream A Little Dream, License To Drive, The Lost Boys, Lucas, Stand by Me, Silver Bullet, The Goonies.... also done a few John Cusack movies including, Say Anything, High Fidelity, The Sure Thing, and so on..... BUT the Corey movies made me re-watch The Two Corey's (the reality show they did) and again it really upset me seeing what happened to their friendship... but a few weeks ago Feldman split with his stupid attention seeking wife who basically fueled the Feldman/Haim seperation. Maybe now Haim is clean and sober Feldman will find the time to forgive and forget, after 24 years of friendship I hope so........... WHO CARES CHARLENE?? I hear you all scream hahahahha.... None of you care but that will not stop me writing it all down becasue that's what blogs are for... the interweb has given everyone a voice and the able to shout out their opinions hehehe!
Hmmmmm what else do I care about that you don't? Apart from the obvious, which would be Michael Jackson, Kristian Valen and Morten Abel?
Oh yeah, thanks to that fkin Facebook, strangers from the past are crawling out of the dusty fkin woodworks and are slowly creeping back into my life. Why? I know most people think it's great. "Wow I haven't spoken to him/her for years"..... well to me this means they don't fkin matter or you would have never lost touch. Why are old school bullies for instance sending me friend requests... is it to boost their own pathetic ego's and make themself look more popular by boosting up their friend list? Whatever the reason it ends with me clicking the little button that says "ignore"..... I did not want the wankers in my life then and sure as hell don't want them in it now! There is not a cat in hell's chance of me starting the new year off faking friendships. Sorry, it's true.
My head hurts!
Oooh look a squirell!
HK is snoring. He has been ace recently with me.... he's been quite great actually. I am thirsty, my bedroom is so warm. Hahaha.... it's 5.58am, can you tell I am tired... I am gonna watch a movie soon, hmmm what to watch? Oooooh The Forgotten (the tv show with Christian Slater) is turning out to be quite fkin brilliant. Loving it, hope it doesn't get axed like My Own Worst Enemy. I think I may put Alt For Egil on.... excellent movie.... I made HK watch it and he said it was boring and crap and then he spoke about it for two days... then after 5 days says "you know, it's not as bad as I thought, infact it was pretty good, it gets in your head"... I was like "I KNOW, that's what makes it brilliant!" hahahaha.
He has been quizzing me more and more on music trivia and guess the song within 10 seconds, and what film is the music from type of quizes. He says he actually gets pissed off that I am quite good, I shock myself you know... it's like my brain remembers anything musical. Oh speaking of memory something really fkin sucky happened.... I banged my head outside taking the trash out and the day after turned my cell phone off and then turned it back on (there was a reason but that's not the point of the story)... it asked me for my pin code like it's done everyday for 3 years and................... nothing!.. It's like I had not even ever heard it, was there a 3 in it? a 2 in it? An 8 in it? I have no idea... I can't remember, it's gone. It did actually really upset me, not that I basically lost all my phone numbers or do no longer have a cell phone, what truly upset me and scared me a little was this sudden memory loss... even now after 5 days there is nothing,,, not even an inkling. It's gone. I wonder, did the banging of my head have anything to do with it?
Either way, I now have to buy a new sim card and get a new number and somehow have to get everyone's number again. Sucks!
Okay I am bored now.... gonna listen to Valen for a while, do some writing and watch Alt For Egil. Sleep well my minions.
Keep smiling and as always....
Toodlepip!

Human Nature?

2009-11-15T20:10:00.001-08:00

First of all I will say I will try my very best to make this my last entry about Mr Jackson, okay a short time has passed now since Michael Jackson's This Is It, wait a second, I am just going to make a good old cup of english tea hahaha, I can't believe I just wrote that, thanks M!
Okay back, that's better,,,, yes I feel this entry needs a brew, okay so I watched it. I laughed, I cried and I was fucking amazed at what could have been. Yes I know this "movie" was probably put together in a very special way to make it the best it could be. You know what, I am glad. It showed Michael as he was practically in 95'. He looked, sounded and moved amazingly! Nothing said he could have been a very sick old man. Like a friend said to me very recently, this movie is a goldmine for fans. I agree 100% with him. Most people are not intrested in the whole rehersal part, but for a true fan of Michael they find that more entertaining.. in my eyes anyway.
Despite what people say about Michael's lifestyle and health, this "movie" proved one thing and one thing alone.... this man still had the magic he possesed all the years ago. He still performed with all his might and would not accept less than perfect. Wether he wanted to do this tour or not, he was going to make sure his fans saw something special and he put in his all. This was evident. I am sad and heartbroken I will never get to see him live, but I am happy for one thing, that's knowing that the tickets I purchased was for something that would not have let me down in the slightest like most people thought. 50 years of age or not, that man still had "it"!!!
Okay I am done.
Next subject, so I have been recently speaking with a musician/singer/songwriter, this guy amazes me, for his age, his intrest and knowledge of certain music gives me faith again. Finally someone under 30 who speaks about music with such passion and love. He knows what he likes, what he dislikes and is also willing to learn new things too..... I can ask "what do you like?" and his answer is not "anything"..... he has names of artists and bands and influences... it's great. Talking to him is not at all boring and I am glad we have become friends... yes this coming from the bubble girl who dislikes all people and preferes to sit in alone. haha. Now I like to think I met him through MJ becasue it's this entertainer/"impersonater" I have discussed before. I inqoute impersonator because I don't feel he impersonates anyone... it's his own voice. Yes I find it creepy and annoying but at the same time I find it amazing that I struggle to hear the difference between them... amazing. Can't wait to hear him sing/perform something other than Michael though, that will be cool. John Lennon's Imagine does not count. haha.
Next subject, I did not get to see the dinosaurs, that morning was rushed into hospital. And that's enough about that.
Been very creative again this week... I think I have a found a muse. Drawing, painting and more importantly writing, I am writing again, I have things to write about. It's a great feeling. I can't stop. This week it's just been pouring out. Thankyou.
I gave up one of the most important things I loved many years ago when I decided to grow up, get a proper job and so on..... my only regret. I have had a lot of time alone to think recently (in hospital) and things for me now are going to change, I should not have given up something I was good at. Not just something I was good at but something I enjoyed and was clearly born to be a part of.... I am going to get my finger out of my a** now and start being me again.
Why do people do that? Why do people change because they feel society needs them to be responsible in a certain way? Is it just human nature to try and fit in?
Well no more for me, for me I feel it's human nature to do what sets you apart from all the other sheep and do what makes you happy, not them. It's taken someone younger to make me realise that. Speaking about my past and the things I have done and I realised while doing this I was smiling and had not been happier discussing these things, I realised, I missed it, all of it. What a waste. I don't regret in anway the last 6 years but I do regret what I gave up because I thought I had to.
This Is It, Whatever Happens My Human Nature will make me Invincible and Unbreakable. This Time Around I won't be Threatened, I will Keep The Faith and no longer keep my talents In The Closet. Another Part Of Me will Remember The time of my HiStory and Smile. Is it Dangerous not to want anymore Privacy? Or is it Human Nature?
Toodlepip.

A Question And Thought Or Two!

2009-10-26T18:56:00.000-07:00

Wednesday is almost here and it's all I can think about. Michael Jackson's This Is It premiers and I have tickets to see the much anticipated "movie". I am scared to death of seeing it though. Truly knowing what could have been, I mean I actually have my concert tickets now, for a concert that will never ever happen. Yet I am going to get to see what I could have seen live.
It's very bitter sweet. I am so very excited to see it, of course I am, but of course I am anxious too. I know there will be tears before bedtime.
I will comment about the show after I have seen it.

On a brighter note my obsession with dinosaurs is finally going to pay off.... I am getting to see the excellent show Walking With Dinosaurs on Thursday night. That should be cool. They look so very real and are sooooo huge! Thanks to HK for that.
Again, I will comment more about that after the fact!

Hmmm what's new? What do I wish to discuss? Let's see?

Why do people stay in "relationships" when they have no intention on staying in them? Why do these people insist on being unhappy? Yeah sure they have their good days and in their own way love their partners but..but...BUT 90% of the time they can not explain why they are with that person. This baffles me. Are people afraid of being alone? Have we become a society that expects everyone to be in a relationship? Have we become that co-dependant?

How many people sit and wonder "What legacy will I be leaving behind?" or is it just me?

For weeks now I have thought more and more about this, not in a morbid way, more in a "how will I be remembered" kind of way. I have no children, and only 3 true good friends, one of which I have never seen face to face yet would take a bullet for. It's amazing how people can effect your life, so have I affected anyones life? You look at people like Michael Jackson, Princess Diana, Freddie Mercury, Elvis Presley..... yes apart from Diana they were entertainers but they are remembered and Never Ever forgotten. They left something behind. They touched people's hearts in a way not many can. I believe these people famous or not would still be remembered becasue of their passion for life. I like to think I have such passion.
Enough to be remembered anyway, yet of course I still question that. I question it because, what will I be remembered for? All I have done, places I have seen, and people I have met yet I have brought nothing back with me. These are things I wonder when I can not sleep, sorry! I am not depressed nor am I unhappy, just being all "thoughtfull" ha ha ha!

Here is another thing.... where is the motivation? In anything? Nobody seems to have any motivation to do or like or dislike anything anymore. Where has all the passion gone? Has everyone just given up?
It saddens me that nobody has that old "get up and go" in them anymore..... I have a friend with so much talent, that just oozes insperation and creativity and is all talk.... he could do so much more than what he is doing, The truth is he wants to but I don't think he quite believes in himself and that saddens me. Another friend who simply just accepted life as it is and tries to change nothing because he no longer sees the point! Why, why can't people want something so bad they would do just about anything to get it? What happened to that fire in people?
I can only think of one friend that I have that is fighting for success in life.... he has passion, he loves what he does and is working is heart out fighting for it. 112 people on Facebook and I can think of only that one! Is that not just wrong. Why can everyone not see that they are worth something in life and not everything is pointless and routine? Has everyone given up?

It's staggering what a person can do if they only try!
Right?

Toodlepip :-)

Mr Valen I salute you!

2009-10-04T11:54:00.000-07:00

Well as I have previously stated I love Kristian Valen, oh with all my heart. His comedy, his life, his music, it all makes me smile. Really makes me smile, makes me giddy and happy.
The last few days I have been a little blue hehehe, understated much? Tonight came on Valen's Frokost TV! His new show, oh god he is awesome, he is so funny and incredibly talented, and has oh so much creativity. I do really love him, he is awesome. How schoolgirly he makes me. All giddy and pathetic like.
I embaress myself sometimes with my reaction to this guy. Moving to Norway I found three artists that I loved to follow, The first one was within days of being here and that was Morten Abel.... For me he is a musical Kevin Spacey, all sophisticated and gentleman like. His voice is hypnostising and he makes me smile. Then not long after came Kristian Valen doing a show I found very hard to understand with it all being in norwegian, I had only been here a month therefor new nothing of what was being said, yet for some reason could not turn away. I was mezmorised by this man, and researched him and within days owned everything he has ever done. I knew more about this man than most norwegians lol. Obsessed much? I think so.
Then there was Åge Sten Nilsen from the band WigWam... he was just such a happy chap, and had an amazing voice.
So those are my three, and I have seen all but Kristian Valen! I have wrote to him, and he wrote back. Its exciting to know that for those few moments when he writes to me personally, he knows who I am, he knows I exist, and this is such a thrilling thought to me.
For me, the man is pure honesty. Full of bravado yet completley insecure and vunrable. The lyrics in his songs say, "I am not trying to be anything more than what I am and know", his honesty completley comes across. He is just absolutely awesome, I say awesome because I am in awe of him.
So anyway yeah, back to his new show. Of course the man's a genius and has pulled off another great! Can't wait for the next episode!
Toodlepip.

A little light at the end of the tunnel!

2009-10-04T09:24:00.000-07:00

Okay so I made a proper sunday lunch today, ya know turkey roast, veg, mash, roast potatoes and gravy bla bla bla, it was really good too, everyone seemed to enjoy it and we are now watching Jean Claude Van Damme on TV with my grandmother, how awesome is that!?
So I see the light, nowhere near a wahoo moment, but its good!
Okay I am going for a smoke now and having a shower, The Cardinals are playing later against the Brewers, come on Cards!! We got RedBird Fever!!!!!!
Toodlepip.

Is it as bad as it seems? Never!

2009-10-04T06:38:00.000-07:00

There is nothing better in life than when someone who barely knows you :
1. Talks about you like they know you better than yourself,
2. Assume you are still the same person you were when you were 13yrs old.
3. Talks about you as if your not in the same room.
4. Refuses to believe you may just be slightly intelligent.

This is just four of the things I love when family comes to visit. Many people past and present ask me why I don't like people!? Why am I not a people person? I truly believe this is one of the reasons. Not many people will allow you to truly be yourself, they spend years of your life telling you to be yourself and when you try, that's when they stop you in your tracks and say "Be yourself". So I have now come to the conclusion they really mean, "Be what we expected of you".
Fuck it,
I stopped fighting it and now just sit quitely and wait for them to leave. It's much easier to sit and nod like a good little doggie. I would just like one day for people to leave me alone, it's as simple as that.
If I could truly have my wish it would be to live in an underground house with no windows. That would be nice. Now we know with my "blogs" I don't really like to put the typical complaining about my life type stuff but today and yesterday have just drove me almost insane,,, don't get me wrong, to some extent it's been nice, it's just those little quips and gobbets that I have to rise above. It's so tiring. I know it get's tiring because lots of other little things now in my head are big fucking deals, things that would not usually annoy me that much are now driving me insane.
Like, ok, here we go. Last Valentines day I went with Lois Lane to see Åge Sten Nilsen in Drammen, I was so excited, and of course when I got to meet him I played the "I have come all the way from England to see you" card!!! heehee! It was great, Lois said I made his day, he gave me a cuddle and a kiss.... and all this is in evidence now, because Lois took video's and photo's of this happening, plus everything I told that happened Lois was there as proof.
Then last night HK told me grandmother that I lie about thingsd and it's in my head but I tell people it's real. I asked "like when, who have I done that with?".... he simply looked at me and said "Åge Sten Nilsen"..... I was so shocked, not because he did not believe me even though I had photgraphic evidence, not because it was Lois that told the story, I was shocked because my gradmother sat there agreeing with him like 'yes that's what she does'. Thats what annoyed me, it made me look stupid, of course you could see this in my face and then my grandmother quipped "Oooh look at her face now!"...... he laughed.
It's not funny, it's those small things that can be very degrading to a person. It's no secret that my family make me feel like shit, they insult me and make me feel like a very small person capable of nothing. So you would think once and a while you could rely on the person you live (who knows all this) to just shut up not say things like that, if anything to big me up a little, make them proud. Like I say though this is something so terribly small not even worthy of being written down, but this is the mood I am currently in, frustrated, tired and just plain blah!
At the moment, listening to Kristian Valen is keeping me sane, sounds silly but it's true, he makes me happy.
Things are changing too, Jean Claude Anderson and his partner, oooh she needs a name, we will call her Nemi, yeah thats good, so Nemi has just moved into Jean Claude's house, thats cool, he's happy now. Michael's dead, Not seen a few of the others in ages, just it's all changing, I hate change, I fear change. The only thing thats consistent in my life and doesn't change is my Kev. He's always there no matter what, ready to discuss the same shit we discuss, as if it's the greatest conversation ever had. I like that, it's comfortable. I do wish he was closer, or I was.
What else do I want to ramble about?
I suppose I am just in a low blue mood today. Although in all honesty it's a better mood than yesterday. I hate complaining, but sometimes you need to get the pointless silly little trivia crap out or you will go out and hold a shopping mall hostage with an AK-47! LOL

I am not exactly happy at the moment, but I am not unhappy about it. I am just getting along with life. I am happy with HK, I am soon going to be working again which is excellent,. I am just waiting for my wahoo moment I suppose. I need that wahoo moment, and if I didn't think it existed I would have hung myself years ago, but I believe in it, I see it, I know it's there. There has to be some proof out there waiting letting me know it's not all for nothing.
You know what, I can't wait!
Toodlepip.

A Birthday To Remember?

2009-08-29T10:55:00.000-07:00

Well, weeks have passed and now it is the day that Michael Joseph Jackson would have turned 51 years young. It's the August the 29th and of course people are sad, are still mourning and are having the predictable MJJ day. I myself was sat here when I was introduced to a young man by the name of Marcus Joseph, an obvious life long fan who liked to impersonate his idol. The dancing anybody can try and replicate but like Freddie and Elvis, Michael Jackson had a voice that was a hard feat to replicate. Marcus Joseph in my eyes has managed it, it brought tears to my eyes and sent shivers everywhere hearing such classic ballads of Michael being sung by a young boy who's voice did not fit with his face. You heard him sing and could only picture Michael. It was amazing. I am not one that follows replicators nor impersonaters but I will be following this young fellow to see what becomes of him.
Anyway, I recently went to the UK with my little Lois and had a suprisingly good time, although from day one you knew it would be intresting. Day one we both nearly died on the tube, why oh why knowing that this enterprise is so busy and demanding have the powers that be in fucking suits can they not make it more safe!?!
It was rediculous, knowing that if anything really dangerous was to happen there was no officials around to take charge of things, you are completely fucking alone with hundreds of people not giving a shit about anything apart from squeezing on/into the hot tin tube!
Okay back to Michael, his death has been put as a homocide, well duh! Michael my have been a mentally fucked up drug addict that put himself in strange situations, but he also paid people money, a lot of fucking money to help care for him, ie: doctors, these/this doctor were paid an unbelievable amount of money to help protect and care for Mr Jackson.
Michael knew that the drugs he used were so strong that he needed supervisation when taking them, this is what he hired "people" for.
So when it is publicly announced that Michael died due to lethal amounts of propofol in his sytem, lots of narrow minded folk say "well its his own fault" and "that doctor should not be charged with anything as Michael knew what he was doing".
I partly agree, Michael did know what he was doing, Michael also knew what he was doing could possibly one day kill him which is why he paid this certain "doctor" a lot of money to take care of him. Drug addict or not, if this doctor at one point stuck to his vows as a doctor he would have said, "Michael, I dont care how much you pay me, I will not admit anymore to you" But the money was obviously more important to this man, and becasue of that it is manslaughter in my eyes, this tradgic death could have been avoided. Easily.
We also have the whole conspiracy / is he alive/ was it suicide or murder thing out. Its like a train wreck I cant look away from, I hate to read such nasty rumours but I suppose as a fan you have to take the bad with the good, and can also look away if you really dont want to see it. Michael Jackson is dead, I have no doubt in this, despite "real" footage of him being scene after his death.
I truly believe and hope the man is dead now, it absolutely broke my fucking heart at the news of this legend's demise, but I dealt with it like all the other fans out there, and finally accepted it. Hated it but accepted it. To even think for one minute that Michael would put his fans through that goes against everything the man ever stood for. To put also his family through that is just not that man! If Michael Jackson himself was to knock on my door and say "hey I am alive" I would gracefully admit I was wrong and ask for an explanation. This is the only thing that would ever make me think he may not be dead. He is though and I think we all know it. In the words of Hetfield, its sad but true.
Started to watch Entourage,,,, Jesus Christ, it's been on. what? Four years and I have only just finally decided to watch it, and managed 4 seasons in three days, it's awesome, although I think I am NOT an Entourage fan, I am an Ari fan. That man both Ari and Jermey is awesome. The writers and casting of that show are complete genius's. I am going to start watching season five later on, it's brilliant, and it is not Sex And The City with men, not one bit! So I thank HK for not pushing me into it but cleverly mentioning it once and a while, if anything that grabbed my intrest more, I was like why on earth is this man obsessing over this show and not pushing me to watch it with him,,,, clever move HK!!!
Fuck me, Michael Jackson is awesome, excellent and all other words that mean he is great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No HK I will not cut down on the exlamation marks, I like them!
Hell's Kitchen is back. And bigger and better than ever. Only a few episodes have passed and its grabbed my attention quick.. will comment on it more when more episodes have aired. Along with The X Factor in the UK., that started last week and a few minor changes but yet to soon to leave a judgment, I will say one thing though, there are so many people out there who really truly believe they have "it"! I don't know what "it" is, but I know they dont got it!
It's Michael Jackson's birthday today... I do keep tearing up. I can't help it. Accepting his death does not mean I am not to be upset at the fact that he is gone. They say he will live forever and all that and in many ways it's true, he will, his music will. His soul will, He left a stamp on this world, He left his mark. People that never were alive when he was will still know who he was in the future. He will still have new fans in ten, twenty years, he will still be selling albums and getting number one spots when the majority of us are all gone. I agree.
Like Elvis, Michael Jackson did not die, he just went home!! Hee Hee!!
Happy Birthday Michael. Love you.

Is This It?

2009-06-30T15:25:00.000-07:00

Things were going so well, I should have known a storm was brewing. Got myself a flight to Paris to see Depeche Mode on the 27th, I fly on the 26th... Could not be happier, and then............
One of my worst nightmares from being 8 years old happened, something I had feared. My idol, my insperation, my influence, has passed away. Of course its big news, it's like the day JFK was shot or when Elvis died, people always remember were they were when they found out this stuff... Well I will NEVER forget were I was and what my reaction was the night I found out Michael Joseph Jackson had died. Writing this now brings tears to my eyes as I I am not quite sure its sunk in. I know, I know, he was not family and I did not know him, BUT he had actually always been there throughout my life so far. Everyone knows who Michael is. He is a legend! On the 25th June 2009, Michael Joseph Jackson was pronounced dead at the UCLA Hospital unable to be resucitated from a cardiac arrest. He is really gone. This is not some cruel sick joke, it's fact, it's something a lot of people will not get over. The man was and is larger than life and in some irrational way people saw him is being immortal, invincible.
I was told and I broke down, I was so upset I even vomitted unable to calm down. I knew when it eventually would happen I would be heartbroken but I did not think I would be like this. The man obviously touched my life deeper than I ever thought. Its been almost a day and I am still unable to hold back the tears, I do not want to see the news and will not be going online. There are going to be rumours, cruel jokes and conspiracy theories.. all of which I am not intrested in... so its better to just try and stay away. A lot of people, friends and family have contacted me via facebook, text and phone calls, to see if I am ok, (it really is like I have lost a member of family, and they know how much I love him, so they are treating it like that).They know I am not ok.
I am currently sat in a cafe in Prague awaiting my flight to Paris to see Depeche Mode. I should be excited and thrilled, but can not yet bring myself to feel the need to celebrate. I suppose this gig could not have come at a better time. When I get to Paris to be with friends it may help me take my mind off it a little, because at the moment its hard to think of anything else as the news is EVERYWHERE!
I had my tickets to see him concert, I was finally going to see him, my hero! Instead it will always be remember as the tour that never was! Part of me says he is in a so much better place now, no longer can he be hurt or rediculed. That was something he never deserved. I have stood by him and been a fanatic for so many years, we haven't lost him, he is Michael Jackson and is ALWAYS going to be around. The man was and is a legend in his own right and will NEVER be forgotten. Never!
With all the love in my heart I say good night my Michael, sleep well! I love you!
I truly am heartbroken and hope soon I can think of him without tears in my eyes. This happened too soon. Too fast. It does not matter how he went, I dont need the details, the fact is he went isn't it?, Is that not what matters?
I am getting extremley upset now, and I have not slept since I found out, I am exhausted and look like shit. I am going to go for a smoke now. So for all those of you that feel the need to come out with your tacky sleezy jokes,,,,,, please don't! There is no need and nobody wants to hear them, He was and is a great man, great father and absolutley fantabulous entertainer. Thats how he needs to be remembered! And by me, he will.

Star Trek, Morrissey, Kevlartuff..........

2009-05-22T01:57:00.000-07:00

Okay I WAS pleasantly suprised by the new Star Trek movie..... it did have the Star Trek feel to it completley and was also in my eyes fantabulously cast! The story was ace, the acting was ace and the effects were brilliant, it had to it a similar dark feeling as in Nemesis which made me a little happy even though First Contact is still untouchable in my book. The only problems I had with the movie were little trivial geeky ones that could easily be forgotton because the movie was excellent, it was very very Star Trek and I can not wait for the next installment!!
So I recently got the new album from Morrissey. Now I loved loved loved the last one, and this new one is as good but something does not feel right, its the same feeling I had with the new Depeche Mode album, BUT as we all know that grew on me within hours so its looking like this new Morrissey album is awesome hahaha. I already have a couple of songs that have stuck in my head, Morrissey once again has produced a typically sounding Morrissey album and its a pleasure to listen to.
I finally got in touch with my Kevlartuff the other day. It's strange, after all the time/years we have known each other we speak/spoke eveery single day... and the last 6 months have been terrible, its strange, if its not been one problem its been another. I don't like it at all, Kev means the world to me, He is me! So from now on I am going to make sure he is my priority and make sure everyone else knows it too,,,, all my friends already know how important this guy is to me, I mean he is not my friend, he is my family for whom I would do anything for. I miss him dearly.
Life is just not the same not speaking to him every day, I remember the days when we wouldnt open a can of beans without reporting to each other, I know people say well, things change, but I fear change, I dont like it lol.

I am also slowly turning into Bree Van De Kamp for sure, my house has not look better, and is going to get better now HK is working, I spend my days now doing the typical housewife thing, cleaning the windows floors furniture, you know the score, I even re organised my food cupboards (i think i already shared that).... the weirdest thing is I love it.
Speaking of cleaning, I have some laundry to do, so I am gonna put my excellent excellent Kristian Valen cd on very loud and do my laundry. Oh Kristian Valen, I love him, he is wonderful in every way. Always good when you have found a man who can make you smile hehehehe!
Toodlepip

Hmmmm.

2009-05-12T19:35:00.000-07:00

I am bored, it's 4.35am and once again I am awake. So I will use this time to smoke and tell all you people that are not reading this what's been going on in my little old uneventful life lol.
First of all I will get this out of the way quickly or I will start to rant and go on and on and it just makes me angry, one of my greatest childhood films that I still to this day find amusing and entertaining is being remade,,,, Drop Dead Fred. Why? Arrggggggggggggggggggggggg!!! Okay I am done!
Next subject, erm...... ooh yeah, you know how I have totally been obsessed with Lois and Clark : The New Adventures Of Superman,,,, well, I had nothing new to watch recently and my Lois Lane gave me season 1 of Desperate Housewives to watch. I have usually stayed away from it because it's totally not my type of thing. well within 3 days I had watched season, 1,2,3... then 24 hours after that I watched season 4 and I am now on 5.. it actually got quite addictive and some of the episodes are very cleverly written, it makes me laugh, and at times I can associate myself with each individual character, so well done DH, you won me over and I am now a fan! Hahaha. Either that or maybe I just have the hugest crush on Teri Hatcher. Without realising it she is one HOT woman.
The new Ster Trek movie is out! I am really on the fence with this, as a Trekkie I was exstatic at the thought of a new Star Trek movie,,,, for the past 3 years I have been looking forward to it... and then I saw the trailer for it, It looks like an excellent movie... and this is my problem, it looks like a fantabulous movie but not a fantabulous Star Trek movie, if it was not for the Enterprise NC1701D, the names Kirk and Spock, nobody would be none the wiser it was trekkie movie. It looks so Hollywood'ed up and action'y.. very Mission Impossible style,,, and as everyone knows the Star Trek movies has unbelievable action sequences without looking like an action movie, they always looked sci-fi and the new one to me does not, So I will watch it, but I am afraid I am not going to be able to watch it in the mind of a Trekkie because this is NOT a Star Trek movie. First Contact and Nemesis,,,, they were ST movies!!! I just really hope with all my heart I am pleasantly suprised and proven wrong in my pre-opinion. I am just not hopeful.
I would also like to congratulate my good friend Jack Napier on his new job, he seems happier already and only a few days have passed.
After going a week without a washing machine was begining to take it's toll on me but alas we now have a new one and I am in love, my laundry is back on track, the machine is ace, its big and quiet and fast! I have also not been sleeping very well at all and found myself awake up untill 9,10,11am, which is good in a strange kind of way because at roughly 6am I get a wind of energy that makes me want to clean, I have founf myself emptying kitchen units and bleaching them, my kitchen is now spotless, you could perform life saving surgery on the counters, So sometimes innsomnia can have its secret blessings. now HK is working again I have a feeling my house is going to be all Bree Van Der Kamp'y again, I can't wait. lol.
Whatever I have must be infectious, my Jean Claude Anderson at 5am the other morning was re-arranging his bedroom. lol., Myself and Lois are still as close as ever, and I dont think that will ever change, well I hope it doesn't anyway, we are planning a trip to England in August, I decided as a thankyou for everything she has done so far I will treat her and buy her a plane ticket, she more than anyone I know needs a break, the girl works so hard for so little. So in my eyes she deserves this, I am going to make it so much fun for her.
Okay thats enough for now, I am going for a smoke and try to find some crap to watch. lol then hopefully try and sleep.
Toodlepip folks!

Where is my Clark Kent?

2009-04-29T17:31:00.000-07:00

I find it amusing how my personality is the type to easily become obsessed with something, for instance,,, I can't just like an album, I have to then own everything the band has ever done, I can't just like a tv show, I have to own every episode plus memoribillia. The people who know me knows this so therefore it does not need explaining.
So, I have done with all my tv shows, ie, House MD, CSI's and so on, and last week started to watch again Lois and Clark The New Adventures Of Superman, and so it happens again. I now own all the seasons and have spent almost 2000 kroners in 3 weeks on Superman stuff.... yet it's not Superman I am obsessing over, it's not even Dean Cain,,,, It's Clark Kent!! Help me please, even I know it's mental!
I have had a weird few weeks,,,, it's been both up, down, mental and sane. I have met a few new people, some of which turned me green (so to speak) and some of which I just found utterly annoying.
Jean Claude is getting all religous in a non religous way, reading the bible (old and new testament), and he is doing this just to find flaws lol,,,, typical him! I love it! He has also in some way turned into his old self which I think is great but also strange due to the fact I met him in a period in his life where he was somewhat humble, and now he is still the same guy but different! Heehee! Lois is still the best friend a gal could ask for, I am loving her more and more every day and she has yet to do something that I find irratating,,,, I have concluded I do not find any asspect of her annoying because there is nothing fake about her... she is just Lois and I will never get bored of her so it seems.
Jack Napier is still Jack Napier, Been chatting to him a little more and like him a lot, his sense of humour and way of thought I find magnetic, it's great!
Not seen much of the others.
Well, I have been thinking a lot about what I deserve in life, and most of the time I believe I don't deserve much but lately I want love, not just any type of love, BUT movie love,,, I want movie love,,,, and I am realistic to know I will never get that because its not real and I am not in The Truman Show, no one is writing my life for me. So Maybe I should just become a whore instead lmao!
They are remaking Drop Dead Fred, I have blogged about remaking movies before so I will say no more on the matter, if you know my views then I dont need to! Ok , Lois is giving me a make over, so I am gonna go now but may write more later... so much to talk about but never will! I am a woman of secrets and mystery, (no idea what I am babbling about now, my meds must be kicking in again).
I am going to start stalking Dean Cain, It's official, I am a creepy gal, but everyone loves crazy, till a little crazy loves you back! Thats me!
Toodlepip.

Sucks to be us!

2009-04-01T08:05:00.000-07:00

Okay a few days have passed,,,,, hmmmm, yes I am not one of those that feel the need to blog about what I had for dinner,,, shocking!
So my good dear friend Lois Lane was totally robbed off her boss today and I am totally gutted for her, I would gladly go and torture her boss for her,,,, what he did was totally immoral and basically just a bastardy twatty thing to do... she works hard and puts up with a lot of crap and she is the one person it did not deserve to happen to.
Also lets just say that Dame Fake is about again and I am not happy, I am sick of seeing Lois unhappy and sad, and I dont like seeing her eyes become empty. She means the world to me and I would do anything to make her happy including getting rid of all the nastiness in her life. Like snails and fake-orammas!
I have started to watch the Harry Potter movies for her, I am now on movie 4 and by christ I hope they get better becasue the acting by Daniel Radcliffe is pathetic in the first three, its all cheesy and over the top, but so far I ahve loved the concept and especially Kenneth Brannagh, Alan Rickman and David Tennant, oh and the ginger twins are pretty cool too,,,,, so Lois asked me becasue I am watching these for her what would I like her to watch for me, It's either gonna be Boston Legal or Angel.....
Jean Claude has gone getting inked today lucky barSteward.... I am getting my Michael Jackson one soon, yay me!!! Erm, anything else... oh lots but I can't think right now, I am hating my hair, hating my body and all that boring crap people talk about in blogs, bla bla.
Well I am gonna go and watch Harry Fuckface Potter now and get it over and done with lol........ then go back to Superman because Dean Cain kicks ass!!!
I will post more later when I am feeling more literate, all I feel like saying now is ALL SNAILS AND DAME FAKE MUST BE WIPED OFF THIS PLANET EARTH! COME ON PEOPLE DO AS MICHAEL JACKSON SAYS AND HEAL THE WORLD,,,, GET RID OF ALL NASTINESS THAT IS SUCKING AWAY OUR SOULS,,,, we know real pain, Birds are fucking dying, so why can't they??
Toodlepip.

When does enough become enough?

2009-03-23T17:56:00.000-07:00

The title of this means nothing, I am just bored and want to write, jesus christ the past few days ahve been weird and surreal and manic, I have been weird, surreal and manic lol. You start to see many people in different ways both good and bad, you can start to miss people for all the wrong reasons and yet resent others for all the right reasons. I have people in my life, both some I want in it and others that could easily be forgotten without tears. Faith is easily lost and gained so fast these days. At one point do you realise that there is more but yet nothing can be said? What does that even mean? I have no idea what I am talking about and I am not even smoking anything lol.
My head is up my own arse recently. Ever been were you have no idea what your looking for and then you find it and its within your grasp yet is also untouchable? Oh my me!
Been spending a lot a lot a lot of time with Lois Lane lately, I love her so much, she is irreplaceable (or however its spelt)... I could never imagine her not being there, I love laughing with her. Her smile is infectious.
Had a dream about Jean Claude Anderson the other day, dreamt that he told me he loved me and then told me he was dying all in the same sentance,,,, I woke up so angry at hima nd had no idea why till later on in the day and then it came to me and I remembered, I actually apologised to him, and then shouted at him for keeping "his dying" from me lol....... lucky for me he understood me craziness and laughed.
My home life is still unsatisfying but getting better, hey I aint complaining though, thats life, who's home life is satisfying?? Haha. Been watching a lot of movies recently, old movies, its been fantabulous,,,
Also I know of this person who has the reputation of being real smart and intelligent, well I recently learned that everything she says are other peoples works and words, and maybe only 10% are her own thoughts,,, this annoys me so badly, why do people nowadays feel the need to do things like this just to impress people,,,, its not clever and when they are found out if anything its just fucking embaressing.
Jean Claude is playing some fighting game now, its pretty cool to watch actually, I like to see him do these things, he is pretty cool and I am so proud of the person he is, I am proud to let everyone know he is my friend, Lois Lane is also on her laptop now, she is so cute, just sat there, typing and reading, twiddling her haor in her fingers, and of course Jack Napier is playing awesome mixes of music keeping us all entertained while he is also on his pc......
Thats what I love about these people, we are all on our pc's doing our own thing, not having the need to talk about crap to eachother just to break silences,,, its just comfortable, I almost ask myself, what did I do to deserve these guys in my life, they have improved it in so many ways and will never know exactly how much.
I am going to watch Superman the series now, to rid myself of the dirtyness that the new movie Superman Returns made me feel,,,,, I am sorry Jean Claude but I still truly believe it sucked donkey dick, but you did change my mind on Daniel Craig hehehehe.
Goodnight and Big Balls.
Toodlepip

Hmmmmm

2009-03-23T11:59:00.000-07:00

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

What's happening to the english language?

2009-03-18T15:10:00.000-07:00

Okay, so after all this time, I was finally suckered into this Facebook. ....... now stick with me on this because I may start to ramble through annoyance.
I get that people are not always good at spelling, I am one of them, I get that sometimes not everyone's grammar is perfect, again I am one of them.
To a degree I can understand why this text slang milarky came about. BUT what I dont get is my 17 almost 18 year old brother sent me this message on facebook:

Hey sis U no I carnt speek Norwegan, U av 2 tork english.

Now, Kids can be kids, but this completley took me off guard, I was utterly shocked,,, so I check out my kids page and it became quite clear what was happening.... all his "friends and family" aged 15-40 all spoke the fucking same!!

This next passage is one of the replies to my Sean off a girlfriend of his:

sean im nt gunna find n e one that quick! haa its only bin a day.. im nt like you.. oj :D x n nooo we fell out i sed sorry but hes bein a mard arse x n wtf did u walk in and out ov the LRC this mornin
Awwww Im Thee One x Yhoo Two I Dintt Wanna Say Incase It Was Cheeseyy But Now Ive Seen It Im Like Awwwww I Loveee Youuuu.

Now this is so fkin frustrating because I sent him a private email asking him, to please send me a message and prove to me he can spell becasue I was highly dissapointed, I needed to know he was not just being fashionable so to speak. He emailed me back and it was perfectly good english. So my question is why is the "youth" of today not satisfied with the text slang, why have they taken it upon themselves to completley change the spelling of a word and not just abriviate it which to a point was acceptable,,,, it, night has become nytte..... its fkin annoying,,,, these people have had the same schooling as me, and I like to think I use the english language well and to it's full capacity.
Aaaaaaaghhh! I have norwegian friends who speak and write better english than the english..... and although thats great for me because I live in Norge, it still sucks donkey dick for the rest of the english. Thankyou
Toodlepip

Fuck everyone fucking about with classics!

2009-03-16T14:01:00.000-07:00

Okay an hour as passed since my recent rant,,,,, I was just about calming down, smoking a smoke and being happy and laughing again in what is a possibly a good happy life, but nooooooooooooooooooooooooo, I come back from the store, feeling giddy and happy and my good friend Jean Claude tells me some news,,,,, They are remaking, yes remaking, no rereleasing, but re-fkin-making IT, stephen king's IT.... why, why, why ...
there is no need, if you remake that, then you have to remake, tommyknockers, dreamcatcher, needful things, sleepwalkers and all the others,,,, which is what some poor I wanna be a hollywood film maker is doing,,,, "I have a dream, to fuck about with everyone else's work" WELL DON'T!!
Let it be, Okay so IT had a terrible ending and nothing like the book, but thats almost become a trademark for King's movies, they are shit, cheesy acting not 100% but they are classics.....
Leave them alone,,,,,
Toodlepip

What the fk is happening to the movie industry??

2009-03-16T12:17:00.000-07:00

Okay I am utterly pissed off, completley!!! I don't even know where to start here, I was incredibly insulted and let down when I found out that Will fkin Smith was remaking The Karate Kid.... not only that but casting his son, (nice way to break into show business eh?).... Why would anyone want to remake cheesy classics such as that is beyond me, I can to a point understand why movies that were never given the budget or the special effects capacity years ago are remade, I mean, imagine knowing a film from the 70's could be so much better for the "fans" if the technology we had today was used... so in that asspect I can clearly understand. BUT not when it comes to remaking a film thats less than 20 years old, that has neither special affects or anything like that, what on earth could be remade in The Karate Kid,,, what could be improved (apart from the typical cheesy 80's script, which is why we love it)?? Absolutely nothing could be improved, there is just no justification as in why this movie is being remade,,,,,,
So I forgot about this and moved on with my life, looking forward to better things in my life like my Michael Jackson concert, my new friends, Jean Claude Anderson, Jack Napier and Lois Lane,,,,,,, do not let my frustration about the whole Karate Kid thing get to me......
Well I tried and life was good, I tried.......... but this morning, to my disbelief I read some devastating news... another film is about to be remade,,,,, this movie is less than 15 years old..... its a normal film, (crappy in some eyes but by the by still a normal movie)....
The Bodyguard!!!!!!!!
Where is the achievment and satisfaction to remake a movie like that I thought, then I carried on reading, and more was explained, things began to make sense,,,
The one hit wonder , ten minute star that in 5 years will be forgotton silly little girl Rhianna is to be cast as the main role..... Well of course she is, she would have been my first choice too,,, after all she has been into the acting business for never! But she says she has always wanted to do movies, for fuck sake find me someone who wouldn't like that.... she is a nobody.... and the film does'nt need remaking anyway, this is the music manager/producer/publicists way of making her now seen as a serious entertainer.... WHAT-FUCKIN-EVER!!!!
Which gets me started on why do kids these days try and break into the music industry by proving their so called talents by doing a COMPLETE replica of someone elses song???
No people dont get me wrong, I find cover versions completley entertaining and enjoy many of them, when the people doing the cover have put there own stamp on it and made it their own, ie the bands that succsefully do this are Pet Shop Boys, Marilyn Manson,,,,, thats ok!! But not when a complete and utter fkin replica is brought out of a song thats 2-10 years old.... whats the point, what are you proving, is that not just gloryfied fkin kareoke??? I could do that and I am tone deaf! I cant sing for shit, but if thats all it takes nowadays to break into that entertaining field, I am going to remake something like The Matrix (becasue that doesn't need remaking but what the hell?) and come out with a hit version of Dont'cha? By the pussycat dolls, and of course its going to be exactly the fookin same, even the video is going to be a tribute to them by replicating that too becasue thats what gets you to number one apparently!! people will love it becasue after all the original hasn't been heard in almost 4 month!! whoa, how do we manage?

fuck and I have just been told now about friday the fkin 12th,.... i mean where is the imagination,,,,,, what the fuck is going on lmao!!! Now thats just a joke, but the principles of my complaint still stand.
So if you want to be a movie writer or musician or song writer or anything like that, remember the reason you wanted it, remember who inspired you,,,, do not think,,, ooh I have a favourite fkin movie I will remake it, or do not think hey in 2006 that song was ace, I will do my own fkin copy,,,,, its lack of talent, imagination, creativity!! So fkin pack it in and be original!!
Toodlepip

All good things come to those who wait....

2009-03-15T14:32:00.000-07:00

I finally finally finally have it!!!! Like Charlie I got me a golden ticket,,,,, I am going to see Michael Jackson!!! 24 hours of lining up for tickets, no sleep and complete anxiousness,,,, but all was worth it,,,, the conformation came through and I now own 2 thats TWO tickets to see the king of pop... and I am ecstatic!
Cool country to live in, excellent awesome friends and michael jackson, oooh oooh ooh and Drammen now sells salt n' vinegar crisps!.. Could life be any better???
toodlepip

A perfect description..

2009-03-11T18:08:00.000-07:00

Ambivalence suggests strong feelings... in opposition. The prefix, as in "ambidextrous," means "both." The rest of it, in Latin, means "vigor." The word suggests that I am torn... between two opposing courses of action. It's the perfect word I think- for me!You know, there's too many buttons in the world. There's too many buttons and they're just- There's way too many just begging to be pressed,they're just begging to be pressed,you know? They're just - they're just begging to be pressed, and it makes me wonder, it really makes me fucking wonder, why doesn't anyone ever press mine? Why will no one ever tell me the fkin truth.... why am I always the fucking bad guy.?

Whatever....

2009-03-11T13:15:00.000-07:00

Was I ever crazy? Maybe. Or maybe life is... Crazy isn't being broken or swallowing a dark secret. It's you or me amplified. If you ever told a lie and enjoyed it. If you ever wished you could be a child forever. I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. You hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. When you don't want to feel, death can seem like a dream. But seeing death, really seeing it, makes dreaming about it fucking ridiculous. Maybe, there's a moment growing up when something peels back... Maybe, maybe, we look for secrets because we can't believe our minds...
How am I supposed to recover when I don't even understand my disease?
Well that's what ther-rape-me's all about. That's why fuckin' Freud's picture's on every shrink's wall. He created a fuckin' industry. You lie down, you confess your secrets and you're saved. Ca-ching! Borderline Personality Disorder. An instability of self-image, relationships and mood... uncertain about goals, impulsive in activities that are self-damaging, such as casual sex. Social contrariness and a generally pessimistic attitude are often observed.
Constantly playing Betty Crocker and cut up like a god damn Virginia ham.
Is this what it's all about?

Very random comments being wrote as I am thinking them hahahaha.

2009-03-10T13:05:00.000-07:00

Okay today has been a quiet day, and mostly quite uneventful... yet 2 hours ago I put on a movie with my Lois Lane, this movie was named, The Last Supper, if your thinking jesus you can stop right there, no this movie is about a group of grad students just offing people during dinner if they dont agree with their politics.. hmmmmm, not only that, they then proceed to bury these dinner guests under tomatoe plants in the back yard,,,,

Now there was plenty I had a problem with in this movie (which strangly enough wasn't that bad) but my main main problem, is the fact these kids (which is what they are) get away with 12 murders including a fkin cop and the tomatoe plants are not covering up the buried plots, no no no, they lay the dead bodies on the grass and cover with dirt, so there eventually are 11 body sized lumps with tomatoe plants on top of them, its like sooooooo obvious!

Anyway...I just can't talk about it anymore, it almost fked my head up as much Teeth.. has anyone seen that fkin movie??? If not, watch it then go on my friend Jack Napier's blog, no one can describe it better than that man!!!!

Isn't Micheal Jackson one of the greatest musicians that has ever lived? Isn't The Matrix one of the most superb movies ever made? Do my friends really like me?, Why does not everyone love Depeche Mode as do I?,

My new favourite snack is currently Tuna soaked in vinegar and mayo with chunks of raw onion...... dunno why, just recently thats all I want! My hair last week was long and black, my hair 5 days ago was short bobbed and red, its now short bobbed and black, within two weeks I got very restless and didnt know what I wanted then I thought ooooh, if its wet and back it will be Trinity style and if its down and dry it will be Uma Thurman Pulp Fiction style lol.... I need more mental help, I am gonna learn martial arts.

Lois Lane is sat next to me eating grapes, she is eating this one perticular grape like an apple and has been at it for almost 10 minutes I am impressed, she looks like a little squirell nibbling on nuts,,,, which reminds me speaking of nuts.... Jack Napier has advertised many many times now that he has balls as nig as Ireland (which he also says in an irish accent when saying it)..... what a man, what a man, what a man, what a might good man!!!! lmao.

Oh god, HK IS DRUNK!! Again,,,,,, he just phoned me, anyway so Lois Lane is now sat next to me balancing grapes on her tongue while sticking her tongue out at me,,,, in any 70's porn flick this would have been hot stuff, but currently not now, she just looks a little strange. heheh cute and adorable, but strange still,

Jean Claude Anderson is now dancing to Michael Jackson, thats cool, anyone that dances to MJ is good in my book, and he dances quite well too but I can not tell him that or his head will surely explode,,,,, lol... "I love me who do you love?" .... wouldn't change him for anything though,,, after all he likes Michael Jackson and many other awesome things too.

Ooooooh, CSI is on, Would I be a bad person if I didn't go home to would could potentially a fkin disaster, ?? I have not been home in 3 dats and today was actually looking forward to it,,,, but Oh I dunno, alcohol can change a soul, and it aint me that's drinking!

I want to watch Demolition man lol.... dunno were that came from! I think it's time I learned norewgian properly,,,, reading and wring it now just aint good for me anymore, I owe to my friends too I think,
OKAY dont like to smoke and type at the same time, so I am gonna smoke now and watch Jean Claude play Watchmen lol
By the way Michael Jackson's version of Come Together shits all over The Beatles version (and I love them too)...... Michael Jackson is just god! Everyone agree with me NOW!
Toodlepip.

Oh how things can change...

2009-03-09T21:41:00.000-07:00

Greetings and Salutations.....Well well well, I finally gave into all this blogging that I hear the peeps are doing, hahaha, even signed up to stalkerbook, (sorry facebook), and the reason for this is because I have opinions that both matter and don't matter and I like to air them out and pretend people are listning. That and all my new found friends do it, lol....Okay here goes listen to this....In two years I have moved from the UK to Norway, broke my foot, fractured my skull, broke my nose, gone blind, recieved sight back then gone blind again only to get the sight back in one eye color blind, been diagnosed with a Neurological disease, been admitted into hospital with problems with my gall bladder which in 8 weeks I have to have surgery, and then to top it all off, diagnosed with severe manic depression and put on even more medication, (remember all this is in 2 years.. thats 24 month people)..... So medically things were not going great, me and HK have been having a little bit of a rough time to say it politly and of course the thought of just packing my shit and leaving has been there a lot, well, just over a month ago I was introduced to a smashing guy, we will call him Jean Claude Anderson heehee, and through him I was introduced to some more great folks, let's call them, Jack Napier, Lois Lane and Matt Murdock, not forgetting the wonderful Clark Kent,,,, (no I dont really know superheros but they are superheros to me, so its very fitting).... So I became very good friends very quickly with Jean Claude and then before knwoing it felt part of the clan/click/group/family whatever you want to call it very easily and very fast. Spent almost 2 weeks away from home and stayed at Jean Claude's... it's exactly what I needed... these guys made me realise I do want to be in Norway no matter what I was thinking before. So I am staying, they are helping me settle finally after 2 years because I now feel, I have a job, a boyfriend and a great fantastic wonderful awesome group of friends,,,, Jean Claude, Lois Lane and Jack Napier are irreplacable to me now, and I could never imagine them never not being there.
So in two years mainly the last six month I have gone through so much medically, 3 breakdowns mentally (yes still psycho, but ah what the hell, it makes me intresting).. wanted to move back to the UK, and now I have everything, because thats what these guys are to me, everything!! I can say that with my hand on my heart.

I finally got a ps2, things are now slowly being replaced from losing everything EVERYTHING I owned in UK.... which means I can replace all the games I miss,,,, yay!!
So bla bla bla, this is probably as serious as I may ever get,,, but now for the important stuff.....
MICHAEL JACKSON IS BACK!!!! He is in London just before my birthday and I am so there, I am gonna take Jean Claude because I wanna share this experience (because thats what it will be, it MJ ffs) with someone who will appreciate the genius for what he is.. a genius!
So this I am really looking forward too, Even giving up the chance to see Depeche Mode this years so I can save up my money,,,,, wish me luck,,,, like I need it, Its Michael fkin Jackson!!

Well lots of new movies coming out very soon, which I will so be giving my opinion on... music too, oooh the passionate music monster that does not pull punches when she thinks something is shit.. hahahaha! Which reminds me, Norway aint half bad for the entertainment value, there is Morten Abel, Kristian Valen and Åge Sten Nilsen.... all very awesome people if I don't mind saying so myself! lol.
Well its 6am, and I am gonna try and fall asleep while watching Jean Claude play on the pc... quite relaxing that can be. absolutely no doubt whatsoever that this blog is gonna be full of shit every day! and if you aint on medication now, you soon fkin will be... For instance, I think the matrix is real for a start, see where my head is at? Lol.
Okay, au revoir for now,
Toodlepip.